World Mental Health Day 2021

To be very honest, I’ve always had a problem with the statement “It’s okay to not be okay.” My sentiment pertaining to this statement would be that it holds an undertone implying that everyone struggles, it is normal and therefore it shouldn’t be taken so seriously.

Throughout my student life, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen the way my friends were told to get over themselves whenever they voiced out their concerns and struggles. In my opinion, being told that everyone goes through feelings of fear, sorrow, stress, and panic and therefore we should all learn to ‘manage’ our emotions never felt like a practical solution whenever one struggled mentally or emotionally. When I was a child in primary school, I felt that the expectations placed on me were always beyond my reach If I couldn't meet them, I would be deemed as failure-bound. As far as I could remember, most of my teachers were fierce. Whenever they’d pose a question, be it to the class or to us as individuals, we would often respond with the intention of simply pleasing them so as to not get scolded or ridiculed instead of responding according to our developing thought processes with the intention to learn. I do believe these experiences robbed us off the joy of learning by conditioning us to fear making mistakes at such a young age. To top it all off, we were also moulded in a competitive educational landscape, and even during our rough patches, we'd ask ourselves, ‘If other kids can take the heat, why can’t I?’.

I believe learning should never be feared, and nobody should be disgraced for their imperfections or mistakes. It has never occurred to me earlier, but I’ve just recently come to realize that I still carried some of my old toxic habits and mannerisms from 10 years back – Like the tendency to avoid speaking to fierce people unless I really had to.

I was made aware about these ‘skeletons in my closet’ thanks to the much needed down-time I had given myself recently, and I finally possess the ability to throw them out and address these unclosed loops. This was an unexpected opportunity for me to learn how to cope with them from the perspective of my older self. It is indeed interesting to reflect upon how my 21-year-old self would've approached stressful and emotionally draining situations differently as compared to how my 12-year-old self would. I guess this is how people get stronger as they let experiences shape them, rather than beat them. From this day forward, this is a thought that I would like to remind myself with whenever I find myself engaging in situations that could be detrimental to my mental well-being.

I hope that mental health issues in Singapore (or anywhere in the world for that matter) wouldn't be dissolved into something that would eventually be accepted by everyone as part of life, and that we would be expected to not be too concerned about it. My hopes would be that mental health issues would be acknowledged as part of our reality now and that we all have a role to play in helping each other cope with all the blows life has in store for everyone. Support systems are definitely important and words of encouragement and support from anyone can mean so much to an individual.

Coming back to the statement of “It’s okay to not be okay”, I believe that the words we use on people are powerful enough to empower and encourage them in difficult moments. I feel that it is important to be careful and avoid unintentionally saying things that could potentially invalidate their feelings or make them feel that they are weak in any way. As individuals, I feel that it is important to listen with an open mind and work together to create a safe community among ourselves to share our concerns with one another, and that is what I hope to see within my generation in the near future.